The Bored Shorts

In one of Chris Rock's stand-ups, he talks about marriage and speaks hypothetically about being dragged to a wives-driven event. He was then thrown into a circle of husbands, with the wife saying, “He likes baseball just like you.” And then you are sitting with other awkward men talking baseball and being pissed off while the wives gossip amongst themselves while all the males are bored out of their goddamn minds.

With that being said, welcome to bored shorts. This site is basically a bunch of dudes talking about whatever is on the male mind. You’ll read about “John” stories, techno jargon/news, some sports, and even some babe grades. For me, onto the NBA draft.

You would think that ESPN would assign guys who would actually analyze the picks and not give generic responses because well, the average sports fan would not park his behind on the couch for 4 hours to listen to David Stern be his condescending self. He just flat out comes off that way. Instead we have Stuart Scott and his glass eye and Jay Bilas with his generic scouting reports of wingspan size, bouncy athletes, and the occasional freak of an athlete. It’s a great excuse to not do anything for four hours and learn about the skill level Serbian basketball players. I’ll go through some of the winners and losers and attempt to read Warriors GM Chris Mullin’s mind.

Winners

New Jersey- Bilas had Brook Lopez as the third best prospect in the draft. Indeed there was a huge drop off after Derrick Rose and Michael Beasley but three was a little high for the “better” twin. But at ten? Huge steal. Brook has pretty good range for a seven-footer. The future pairing of him and Sean “Big Time” Williams has a pretty good outlook and it could be worse (Jason Collins and Aaron Williams…ouch). Memo to the Clippers and Grizzlies, this is how you rebuild a franchise on the fly. Bye bye Jason Kidd. Bye bye Richard Jefferson. Hello young assets and cap room. LeBron 2010 in Brooklyn anyone?

Portland-Kevin Pritchard is quickly becoming the NBA version of Billy Beane. The guy flat out loves the NBA draft. He somehow turns the #13 pick, Jarrett Jack, and Josh McRoberts into a combo guard in the mold of a Chauncey Billups/Gilbert Arenas type of talent in Jerryd Bayless. He also landed Frenchman Nicholas Batum and Joey Dorsey, a poor man’s Ben Wallace. While the Phoenix Suns and other teams sell their first round picks for luxury tax purposes, Pritchard has the draft down, almost to an exact science. Aldridge, Oden, Bayless, Roy, Outlaw, and NO Zach Randolph. All done in the past couple years. Wow.

Losers

Minnesota/Memphis- Not a fan of either OJ Mayo or Kevin Love at the next level, especially Love valued as a top five pick. Great role player at the best, but not a franchise savior type of guy. But this trade does not make sense for either side. With Mayo and Conley anchoring the guard spots for Memphis, Rudy Gay slides over to the three. He can’t guard anyone. Now you have Mayo guarding NBA shooting guards every night, Conley as a small point guard, and Gay displaying trash can defense. Maybe the Dubs won’t finish in last in points allowed per game next year. Speaking of defense, the T-Wolves will have no one to protect the rim in the future, assume McHale envisions an Al Jefferson, Kevin Love front line for the next decade. Both are small for the PF/C spots and both can’t jump. Jefferson basically has one post move (turn left shoulder) and Love will have a hard time against athletic NBA PFs. Just don’t get the reasoning of this swap.

Charlotte- Brook Lopez fell right into the Bobcats’ lap and they draft another small point guard at No. 9 when they already have Raymond Felton? Felton hasn’t broken out yet so his trade value hasn’t reached full potential and Augustin is 5’11”. Not that many small point guards can start 82-plus games in the NBA. Past three drafts for Air Jordan: Morrison, Brandan Wright (traded to GSW), and Augustin. Could probably do better.

Golden State- The Warriors didn’t come out losers in this draft in the long term, but I really thought they needed another scorer off the bench. When a former D-Leaguer (Kelenna Azubuike) is your most productive guy off the bench, you need some more depth. I thought Mully made a huge mistake in not trading a future second rounder and cash for Chris Douglas-Roberts. Quirky scorer who could be productive now for the Dubs as a second rounder. However, Anthony Randolph was the right and safe choice. What Mullin is doing is acquiring assets, exactly what Danny Ainge did with Boston. At 18 and 20-30 pounds underweight, there is no way Randolph contributes next year to the Dubs playoff run. But he and/or Wright could be the next centerpiece (a la Al Jefferson) along with the ten million dollar trade exception in a blockbuster trade that brings a star player to the Warriors. If they can’t pull off a KG like deal, at worst you have a good future core with Monta, Andris, B-Wright, Randolph, and Marco.

That is all I have on the NBA draft. I’ll cap my entry off with a few fantasy baseball tips.

1. Trade for Erik Bedard. If you want to win your league, you’ll have to do something risky. Bedard could help during the playoffs as a potential fantasy ace. Even though he got hurt last year, he had a 2.69 ERA after the all star break last year and 72 Ks in 60 innings. I got him for Jay Bruce and Bengie Molina, two guys I would also sell high NOW.
2. Get Granderson. The buy low period on the Tigers CF may have passed, but he’s a stud. I would value him as a top 12-15 OF for the rest of the year. His home run total is still low as are his SB, but if you could get him for a third-tier SP or second-tier SP, DO IT.
3. This is general advice, but this is the time of year when all catchers start to deteriorate. If you have anyone except Posada (who was hurt for part of the first half), see what you can get, especially in a packaged deal. If you could land a struggling player like Cano or Byrnes, it’s worth having a mediocre catcher for the rest of the year.