The Bored Shorts

Loose Change

Skip to about 2:45, then let the hilarity ensue.

Tag:Entertainment, Humor

perfect.

an idea that they think will change the world.
see full article here

this is an awesome song, try to not get it stuck in your head.
Tag:humor

Don't get caught with any of these drinks if you want to keep your manhood.
Top Ten Drinks not to drink.
Tag:Lifestyle

great picture
Tag:humor, picture

Tag:humor

That sucks. Suck it BOSTON!




















Tag:Sports

Given the nature of the conflict between Russia and Georgia and the implications that this conflict has with not only the US but also NATO and the surrounding post-Soviet nations, it is good to see that Americans are concerned with foreign policy, but not in this way. I swear, the combined IQ of the people living in the bible belt is 50.
Full article here

Tag:People from the South are Wankers

Remember this guy?



Well Brian Collins is now a full-time reporter for KXXV in Waco, TX. Instead of joking about how we all want more Indiana Pacer highlights, I'll say this: Congrats dude. You really are a role model for anyone who is up against the odds by working up from the very very bottom.

Tag:humor

- Watch more free videos
Tag:video, humor

Sick and tired of watching Michael Phelps celebrate and show off muscles you didn't know existed? Here are some "things" to watch in the final few days of Olympics.






1. Misty May's ass and Kerri Walsh's abs. Good thing this duo plays beach volleyball. The gold medal game vs. China is Thursday night at primetime. May and Walsh both said that they want to start families after the Olympics, so that might be your last day to watch this duo at their "finest."



2. Caitlin Lowe's legs. The good news is that softball probably has two games left. The even better news: Lowe is a staple in center field and Team USA does not wear baseball pants. And that's a very good thing.



3. Logan Tom in a volleyball uniform. Yes, she went to Stanford, but she is for sure an exception. Plus, she is so good that she never comes out of the game. YES! (Next game on Tuesday at 7 AM.)



4. Heather Mitts...yes this is a soccer player. She's number 2. It's definitely worth watching a women's soccer game for a few close ups of her.

A few we missed due to injury or they already competed: Chellsie Memmel, Ana Ivanovic, Maria Sharapova, Nastia Liukin (in pink).

Now for a few to try to avoid to watch on HDTV:

Crystl Bustos and Stacey Nuveman (softball): The Designated Hitter and Catcher, respectively. 'Nuff said.

Brenda Villa (Water Polo): She's one of the best in the world, but listed at 5'4" 165. Great for scoring goals, but that's about it.

Candace Parker (Basketball): If you like them at 6'6" with ripped biceps, move this under the "best" category. A beast and one of the best...but not for this list.

For weeks it was Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin, one-two respectively. One is 4'9", powerful, yet an adorable media darling. The other is elegant and graceful with gold medal in her blood. Johnson and Liukin were supposed to be the 1-2 punch to lead Team USA to gold over China, but their teammates floundered in the team competition. In the all-around, it was the slight underdog Liukin to pull off the competition of a life time. Nastia was simply brilliant. She stuck 3 out of 4 dismounts, and the one she didn't, was her highest scoring event-the uneven bars. What should make all Americans proud is how Shawn handled defeat with as much class as any 16 year-old could have shown. She was the first to admit that Nastia was better that night, with no complaining about how she got shorted on her balance beam score. Watching those two compete, it's hard not appreciate the history that was made by the adorable and the graceful.

Tag:Video

In what should be considered an accepted policy across the world, news broke out on CNN that the singer of the "Ode to the Motherland" song in the opening ceremony, the little girl who was on TV (Lin Miaoke) was actually lip syncing to the voice of 7-year of Yang Peiyi. Reason was that Peiyi wasn't "cute enough for TV" and therefore they found a cuter girl on stage to perform. Just goes to show, if you ugly, you out.

You can read the entire story here.

This is why I fly Singapore Airlines and not United. Hot airline hostesses mang!

Tag:Lifestyle

Oh man, I stumbled upon this!
link
Tag:humor

In this picture there are about 10,000 galaxies. Each of these has from ten million to a trillion stars of which are all roughly a million times the size of Earth. This photo took 400 orbits and 800 exposures and is only one thirtheen-millionth of the entire night sky. Now try and tell me there is no life out there.
Ultra Deep Hubble Field picture

Tag:Picture

Tag:humor, video

Classic

Tag:Entertainment

Awesome!

Cute Blonde 18 Year Old babysitter - Watch more free videos
Tag:Video, Humor

Tag:Video, Humor

You know how it goes

Tag:Entertainment, Lifestyle

This is the funniest tryout I have seen. The commentators are the best, got to love the Brits.

http://view.break.com/548802 - Watch more free videos
Tag:Video, Humor

Best part was the medical staff cleared him and he rode right after to take 2nd in the competition.
Tag:Video
Technorati Profile

The War Against Beer Pong on Yahoo News.

As long as he plays like vintage Monta, I don't give a damn what he does to his image. What it must feel like to get a $10 million raise...
Tag:Sports

Get stoked!

I can guarantee that you'll come across this wherever you go, whether its a McDonalds, a Jack in the Box, Wendys, KFC, or... King Burger. There are 3 things in this world you can't escape from: death, taxes, and bon qui qui's.


Tag: Entertainment

An ex-google employee has launched a new search engine after getting $33 million in venture capital funding. This site is touting more websites in their database then Google and is bragging a more sophisticated search platform that adds new layers of search besides the obvious keywords. Started by Tom Costello and his wife, the site has been gaining a lot of attention due to this sorting functionality. Although it still has its bugs, this may be the first search engine to prove a threat to the all mighty Google. Keep an eye on this one.
Cuil.com (pronounced "cool")

Bastard wont go down.

Tag:Humor, Video

8. Aquaman- This underwater superhero, with the ability to use creatures of the sea to help him defeat his foes, has extreme underwater speed and agility. Aquaman has a resistance to heat and the ability to dehydrate his opponents, along with a mystically enchanted left hand.

7. Flash- The Flash is the fastest superhero around with speed and agility that seem to defy the laws of physics. His only downfall is that he doesn’t really posses any other super powers, but you know what they say, you can’t teach speed.

6. The Hulk- Arguably the strongest superhero around, this Green mass of muscle and rage also has a regenerative healing factor. His superior intellect, stamina, strength, and durability make him one of the most powerful superheroes around.

5. Captain America- An expert martial artist and hand-to-hand combatant, this field commander and master tactician has physical attributes enhanced to the peak of human potential. His ability to use his shield makes his a hero that you don’t want to mess with in close quarters.

4. Iron Man- Not only is he a millionaire industrialist with genius level intellect, but his suit is pretty cool. Super-strength, flight at Mach 2, missile attacks, energy blasts and regenerative life support make Iron Man one of the most versatile and powerful superheroes.

3. Spiderman- The high flying superhero with the ability to cling to any surface and fire webs from his hands. His unique “spidey senses” help him to see and feel things before they happen. His reflexes, speed, and stamina make him one of the most difficult superheroes to corner.

2. Superman- The most versatile superhero around. Superman has the ability of flight, x-ray vision, superhuman strength, speed, stamina, intelligence, durability, and senses. An American icon who helped create the superhero genre in America. A true symbol of strength.

1. Batman- A superhero with no superpowers, Batman makes use of his intelligence, martial arts skills, physical prowess, and detective skills. Not only is a he a philanthropist and a playboy, but he also has a large fortune which he uses to develop the Bat Mobile and his high-tech belt. The Dark Knight is a cultural icon and the number 1 superhero in my book.


Tag:Superhero, ranks

There is a new site out there on the interweb called Stack. Its an interesting site for athletes that has about everything you could need on there. Social networking ala "myspace" ish, along with various videos on athletics. There are cool videos to check out of various sports. My favorite is the training section of the videos where you have pros and athletes at the collegiate level showing some different workout exercises to give variety to your weight training and workouts. Also has advice about equipment. Check it out, spread the word, let it grow in numbers. Also comes in paper form in Stack Magazine. Time to get huge.

Tag:Sports, Lifestyle

Speaks for itself.

Tag:Video, Humor

I just wish they had it in slow motion.
Tag:Video, Sports

Sources say that Eminem is back in the studio working on a new album. It has been 4 years since he has been in the spotlight, partially due to one of his best friends death in 2006 and other personal problems. Be on the lookout for some of his new works in the near future.

Tag:Entertainment

England, famous for its front-teeth protruding, tea-drinking, ugly-faced know-it-alls, still found Sarah Jessica Parker repulsive. From Sex and the City, Parker was hailed Maxim's unsexiest woman alive. To add to the hurt, on this past week's episode of Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson even got into the mix with a jab at her of his own. Just goes to show you, they may be ugly, but they got it correct.



Tell 'em Jezza!
Tag:Entertainment

Apple blogger finds out that the best way to view porn is through Safari's private surfing mode. No history, no saved searches. Read it here.
Tag:Entertainment, Lifestyle

I recommend clicking through and watching this on Youtube in High Quality
Tag:girls

Tag:Video

I think this guy really nails it. Just think about all those hardcore rap songs you hear, then take them and make fun of them. 3.14 Apple Pi by Bo Burnham.

Tag:Humor, Video

And maybe the three point slider...No, but seriously, Monta can and will carry the team next year. The guy did score 72 points in high school, why couldn't he score 30 points a game in the Association?

Plurk: the new Twitter? I have yet to find out, but the fact is that Plurk is something that is here to compete. It has been gaining a strong following in recent weeks and numbers have skyrocketed sending the amount of users per month up almost 1000%. But, here is my question: what does this type of site bring to the table? I feel that it is just people's facebook status' compiled onto a separate site. It doesn't appeal to me, but go on and check it out for yourselves: www.plurk.com

Tag:technology, lifestyle

While everyone is waiting in line in Apple Stores all around the world right now for the new 3G iPhone, little do people know that the cut in prices to the hardware have little effect on the actual costs of using the iPhone. Sure the phone is $100 cheaper, but your plan is actually more expensive now with the inclusion of the 3G data plan. Take a look at the Consumer Reports article.

Tag:Entertainment, Lifestyle

This is really funny.

Try Not To Laugh - Watch more free videos
Tag:humor, video

Watch this video. Palow da don, the producer of this song, just grabbed three loops from Apple's Garageband (2006) and dragged and dropped them into the play area to make the beat for the hit song "Love in this club." It's true. I did it in less than 30 seconds.
Tag:Entertainment

Weezer's new music video for their single "Pork & Beans". Embracement of internet popularity commence!

Tag:Video

Fat people are just more fun.

Tag:Humor, Video

Fuck, although our laws in California aid in reducing air pollution, check out what it does to our prices! This map fails to look at Hawaii which has even higher prices.

Link
Tag:Lifestyle

This is terrifying, who does this?

Tag:Girls, Videos

;

All I can say is WOW. This baby is slated to hit the markets late this year with no price range revealed yet. It will be more spacious than current models with room in the trunk which is a plus for the weekend golfer. Its lines are modeled after early 80's designes and its retractable hard top is going to propel this car far. I think this may be one of the best selling Ferrari's of all time. Check it out.





Tag:Cars

In his latest attempt at going green, Prince Charles has converted his Aston Martin to run off biofuel created out of wine. Now thats a sweet ride!

Tag:Entertainment, Cars

Don't get me wrong, it's a sad day for the Golden State Warriors. The Boss, one of the tri-captains, and the most dynamic player on the team opted out late last night. Granted, Baron Davis is a top five point guard in the league, but he might have forced the Dubs' hands. I have several thoughts, but most are unrelated.

• Baron clearly does not want to be a Warrior. Now, there are only two options, sign and trade him, or let him walk...to the Clippers. A sign and trade to the Knicks seems plausible, but who would they want in return? The only expiring salary that would match up would be Marbury (22 mill). The Dubs would then buy him out. I only see this happening if David Lee comes back in return with some draft picks. I can also see rumors with the Pistons arise again.
• The one thing I admire about Boston sports fans is that they expect management to make all the right moves for a championship, not just being competitive. The roster with Baron is competitive, but not championship caliber. The salary cap outlook is good (even with Biedrins and Ellis signed long-term) and the Dubs have good (not great) young talent. Even if the Warriors are lottery-bound again, the future looks brighter both talent-wise and financially than in years past. In other words, fans will be more patient with a rebuilding process.
• Short term, signing Shaun Livingston would be huge. If the Dubs don't get a pt guard in return for Baron, Livingston can fit right with Monta Ellis. Livingston is long enough to guard the 2 and talented enough to play off the ball in the half court, yet run the team as a point guard would. The problem is he is coming off a McGahee type of injury. I guess Chris Duhon is a free agent.

The free agent period so far has been disappointing this summer. Baron most likely gone, Brian Campbell of the Sharks most likely gone, and Matt Barnes, Stack Jack's personal face coverer with a towel, gone. But just as I write the Warriors should dig in for a rebuilding process, I read this: http://blog.washingtonpost.com/wizardsinsider/. Gilbert Part 2? We will see.

Joe Horn is back on trial for his controversial action when responding to burglars at his neighbors house. This audio is of him on the line with 911 when he takes matters into his own hands at his home in Texas. This video/audio is a redneck at his finest!

Highlights:
3:00 - Joe starts getting angry
5:20 - Joe starts arguing
5:45 - Starts making up his mind to go outside
6:30 - He goes


Joe Horn was cleared of all charges against him.
Tag:Video

Tag:Cars



Tesla Motors, the people that brought you the all-electric Tesla Roadster, just announced that they will be making sedan models of their electric sports car that will cost $60,000 and below $30,000. All the hippies, Hollywood celebrity elitists, conceded treehuggers, start drooling. I'll take a look at the roadster, which can go 0-60 under 4 seconds and go 225 miles on a single charge, after I buy my Koenigsegg.

Tag:Girls

For some reason, I find this very very funny. Give it a listen you're "feelin good"...

Is this guy for real?

I'm going to be honest, I'm not sold on Anthony Randolph...yet. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm almost positive I weigh more than him and he has NINE inches on me. So as you can imagine, when I first heard his named called by my beloved Warriors, I was not jumping up and down. To tell the truth, I was hoping for a potential backup to Stack in the mold of Donte Greene or CD-R. According to Mully, I got my back-up to Stack, seeing as he thinks AR will play the 3. Now, I live in SEC country and I saw him play when Georgia played LSU (and saw Richard Hendrix but more on that later). The kid is a baller but his shooting leaves a lot to be desired. If he ever wants to play in Nellie's system, especially at 3, he is going to have to develop a range of more than 15 feet. Which I believe he can. The kid (i can say that now seeing as almost the whole lottery is younger than I am. i don't yet know how that makes me feel...) is only 18 and is said to be by one scout "A Chris Bosh starter kit". Sounds good to me and should sound good to eager Warriors fans.

My opinion on Richard Hendrix is totally different. I think he is a solid player who can come in and contribute now. He is in the Maxiell/Bass mold which is EXACTLY what the Dubs need. My friend in Georgia text messaged me after the pick and said "I once got up to Hendirx real close and the only thing i could think of was that that this is a very large black man next to me." Music to my ears. A bruiser who can become a Paul Milsap for us and guard the Turiafs and Boozers of the league is always welcome on any of my squads. Welcome to the team Dick.

Now for those of you who, like me, think it is an eternity to the next season to watch these guys need fear not. Vegas Summer League is almost upon us. It starts July 10th and can be seen on NBATV and I am assuming NBA.com. I checked the schedule and guess who has the very first game at 1pm on July 10th at the Thomas and Mack Center? You guessed it, the Warriors. I love summer league, if only for the fact that you get to see random guys light it up. Remember Belli's 37 point performance last year? No one else does either...

As a side note, how about the Blazers? I am pretty sure Pritchard pops in NBA 2k8, picks association mode, chooses the Blazers, and plays around with the roster for three hours a day. The guy flat out loves his team and wants to see it succeed. I can not argue with any of his picks and seeing him land Jarryd Bayless while unloading Jarret Jack and Josh McRoberts was a stroke of genius. Bayless/Roy/Webster/Aldridge/Oden. That is a scary team and the funny part is, Oden is probably a shoe in for rookie of the year. Very intriguing and nasty team for probably the next decade.

As another side note, how much fun is NBA 2k9 going to be? There is going to be so many good teams in the league next year, I may venture out of my 2 or 3 team comfort zone. The Warriors will still be my fav tho. My new fav line-up will be Boom(assuming he is there. I will post my thoughts on him in a diff post)/Stack/Randolph/BWright/Biendris, with ellis coming in for stack and boom at different times. For those of you who have the game on PS3 and can't wait for next years updated roster... I mean NBA 2k9, here is the link for a roster file that has all of the new rookies in the free agent pool, plus updated rosters (not including the draft night trades, you will have to do that yourself): http://www.mediafire.com/?2mjdam9ywpy.

One random fact: Anthony Randolph's chosen number.... 4. A certain former Warriors rookie of the year wore that number. Make of it what you will...

Anyway, I am sure there is much more talk about, but I have to get back to work. This blogging thing seems fun and I will try and get in some more posts in the near future. One Dub...

In one of Chris Rock's stand-ups, he talks about marriage and speaks hypothetically about being dragged to a wives-driven event. He was then thrown into a circle of husbands, with the wife saying, “He likes baseball just like you.” And then you are sitting with other awkward men talking baseball and being pissed off while the wives gossip amongst themselves while all the males are bored out of their goddamn minds.

With that being said, welcome to bored shorts. This site is basically a bunch of dudes talking about whatever is on the male mind. You’ll read about “John” stories, techno jargon/news, some sports, and even some babe grades. For me, onto the NBA draft.

You would think that ESPN would assign guys who would actually analyze the picks and not give generic responses because well, the average sports fan would not park his behind on the couch for 4 hours to listen to David Stern be his condescending self. He just flat out comes off that way. Instead we have Stuart Scott and his glass eye and Jay Bilas with his generic scouting reports of wingspan size, bouncy athletes, and the occasional freak of an athlete. It’s a great excuse to not do anything for four hours and learn about the skill level Serbian basketball players. I’ll go through some of the winners and losers and attempt to read Warriors GM Chris Mullin’s mind.

Winners

New Jersey- Bilas had Brook Lopez as the third best prospect in the draft. Indeed there was a huge drop off after Derrick Rose and Michael Beasley but three was a little high for the “better” twin. But at ten? Huge steal. Brook has pretty good range for a seven-footer. The future pairing of him and Sean “Big Time” Williams has a pretty good outlook and it could be worse (Jason Collins and Aaron Williams…ouch). Memo to the Clippers and Grizzlies, this is how you rebuild a franchise on the fly. Bye bye Jason Kidd. Bye bye Richard Jefferson. Hello young assets and cap room. LeBron 2010 in Brooklyn anyone?

Portland-Kevin Pritchard is quickly becoming the NBA version of Billy Beane. The guy flat out loves the NBA draft. He somehow turns the #13 pick, Jarrett Jack, and Josh McRoberts into a combo guard in the mold of a Chauncey Billups/Gilbert Arenas type of talent in Jerryd Bayless. He also landed Frenchman Nicholas Batum and Joey Dorsey, a poor man’s Ben Wallace. While the Phoenix Suns and other teams sell their first round picks for luxury tax purposes, Pritchard has the draft down, almost to an exact science. Aldridge, Oden, Bayless, Roy, Outlaw, and NO Zach Randolph. All done in the past couple years. Wow.

Losers

Minnesota/Memphis- Not a fan of either OJ Mayo or Kevin Love at the next level, especially Love valued as a top five pick. Great role player at the best, but not a franchise savior type of guy. But this trade does not make sense for either side. With Mayo and Conley anchoring the guard spots for Memphis, Rudy Gay slides over to the three. He can’t guard anyone. Now you have Mayo guarding NBA shooting guards every night, Conley as a small point guard, and Gay displaying trash can defense. Maybe the Dubs won’t finish in last in points allowed per game next year. Speaking of defense, the T-Wolves will have no one to protect the rim in the future, assume McHale envisions an Al Jefferson, Kevin Love front line for the next decade. Both are small for the PF/C spots and both can’t jump. Jefferson basically has one post move (turn left shoulder) and Love will have a hard time against athletic NBA PFs. Just don’t get the reasoning of this swap.

Charlotte- Brook Lopez fell right into the Bobcats’ lap and they draft another small point guard at No. 9 when they already have Raymond Felton? Felton hasn’t broken out yet so his trade value hasn’t reached full potential and Augustin is 5’11”. Not that many small point guards can start 82-plus games in the NBA. Past three drafts for Air Jordan: Morrison, Brandan Wright (traded to GSW), and Augustin. Could probably do better.

Golden State- The Warriors didn’t come out losers in this draft in the long term, but I really thought they needed another scorer off the bench. When a former D-Leaguer (Kelenna Azubuike) is your most productive guy off the bench, you need some more depth. I thought Mully made a huge mistake in not trading a future second rounder and cash for Chris Douglas-Roberts. Quirky scorer who could be productive now for the Dubs as a second rounder. However, Anthony Randolph was the right and safe choice. What Mullin is doing is acquiring assets, exactly what Danny Ainge did with Boston. At 18 and 20-30 pounds underweight, there is no way Randolph contributes next year to the Dubs playoff run. But he and/or Wright could be the next centerpiece (a la Al Jefferson) along with the ten million dollar trade exception in a blockbuster trade that brings a star player to the Warriors. If they can’t pull off a KG like deal, at worst you have a good future core with Monta, Andris, B-Wright, Randolph, and Marco.

That is all I have on the NBA draft. I’ll cap my entry off with a few fantasy baseball tips.

1. Trade for Erik Bedard. If you want to win your league, you’ll have to do something risky. Bedard could help during the playoffs as a potential fantasy ace. Even though he got hurt last year, he had a 2.69 ERA after the all star break last year and 72 Ks in 60 innings. I got him for Jay Bruce and Bengie Molina, two guys I would also sell high NOW.
2. Get Granderson. The buy low period on the Tigers CF may have passed, but he’s a stud. I would value him as a top 12-15 OF for the rest of the year. His home run total is still low as are his SB, but if you could get him for a third-tier SP or second-tier SP, DO IT.
3. This is general advice, but this is the time of year when all catchers start to deteriorate. If you have anyone except Posada (who was hurt for part of the first half), see what you can get, especially in a packaged deal. If you could land a struggling player like Cano or Byrnes, it’s worth having a mediocre catcher for the rest of the year.

When we get around to it.